Mario Gear Solid by pvt beavis666

Story originally submitted to Super Mario Portal on March 15th, 2004 by pvt beavis666

Prologue - The Twin Mario's

Two men come walking down the cold, uninviting hallway. It’s a concrete barrier to keep them warm inside the building. One of the men has brown skin, black hair, and I fairly tall. The other was old with white skin, white hair that is balding, and is fairly short.

“That exercise was awesome, Kenneth,” the tall one says.

“Yes, the project will definitely be approved Toad,” Kenneth replies.

The two men were gloating over the initial prospect of the project being adopted when a female soldier ran up to them. She had a fair complexion, brown hair, blue eyes, and built like a man’s dream.

“You guys have to get out of here,” she said. “The goomba soldiers are rebelling.”

They split up, the woman going with Kenneth and toad going the opposite way. As they’re walking, they hear toad say “HOLY FUCK, DON’T KILL ME!” Knowing his life was in danger, Kenneth gave a card key to the woman. They were caught just shortly after by an army of goombas being led by a tall and imposing man with blonde hair, and green hat with an L on it, and a black trench coat.

“Take the girl to the holding cells, but take the man to the torture room,” the imposing man said. “He has some information that will be useful to us.”

The girl was about to kick some ass when everything went black.


“Who the fuck is at my door at this god-damned early hour?” asked the man, while he got out of bed. He walked into the barren living room of his house. Just one seat lay idly on the bare floor. In the kitchen were a fridge and an oven. The man grabbed his coat and hat, and then opened the door.

“Mario Mario, You’re coming with us.” A soldier said.

Mario looked out and saw about 20 soldiers, all aiming their guns at him. He did the only thing he could do. He grabbed his cigarettes and went willingly to the soldiers to see why they wanted him.


Chapter 1

Mario gets into this torpedo-like transport. He is wearing his lucky blue overalls and his red hat with the white M on it. He suddenly hears Colonel Yoshi Campbell through the codec. The Colonel is heavyset, with his uniform stretched across his frame.

"Are you ready to go, Mario?" He asks.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Mario replies.

Mario gets ready for the SDV to launch. He remembers the briefing he heard before getting into this cramped piece of shit. It was about how a group of terrorists took over Shadow Mushroom Island in the northern part of the Mushroom Kingdom. The Goomba soldiers rebelled and gave control of the facility to KOOPAHOUND. The Colonel said there are six members in this activity. Psycho Bowser, with his powerful psychic abilities. Daisy Wolf, the beautiful and deadly sharpshooter. Decoy Octorok, master of disguise. Vulcan Bob-Omb, giant and shaman. And Wartashaska, better known as Revolver Ocelot, specialist in interrogation and a formidable gunfighter. And then the leader of the group, Luigi Mario. The only man with the same code-name as Mario.

But the main reason the Colonel got him for this mission was because of a personal problem. His niece was caught in the cross-fire and was taken hostage. Her name is Peach Silverburgh. She looked a lot like the Colonel.

Naomi Birdo is making sure Mario is ok to go before launching. Naomi has black hair, green eyes, and is very petite, with her bird like body. She is also the chief medical staff for this operation.

Mario gives the go that he is ready and the SDV closes up. The torpedo tube fills with water as the SDV is ready to be launched. It is then launched with a great velocity towards the base.

Mario thought to himself as he was on his way there. KOOPAHOUND was his old unit, and the Colonel was the commander of it before he retired. The main operations he has been in were at Outer Mushroom and at Zanzishroom Land. At Outer Mushroom, he had to defeat Metal Gear, finding out that Big Boss, commander of KOOPAHOUND at that time, was behind it. Big Boss fled and created a base at Zanzishroom Land. Mario finally killed Big Boss there.

The SDV was starting to go slower, so Mario ejected out of the pod and started swimming towards the base. Mario was dressed in a sneaking suit used to prevent hypothermia. And on his head was his trusty red cap with a big M on it.

Mario surfaced inside of the cargo hold for the base. He could see 2 goomba guards and a man wearing a black trench coat and a green hat with blonde hair.

"He'll be through here, I know it," The man said. "I'm going to go swat down a couple of bothersome flies."

Mario took out his scope and tried to get a better look at the man. The man was already up the elevator before Mario was able to see his face. So Mario got up on the little ledge. He took off his flippers and took a knee, putting his hand behind his ear.

"This is Mario. Colonel, can you hear me," Mario said.

"Loud and clear Mario. What's the Situation?" the Colonel questioned.

"Looks like the elevator in the back is the only way up," Mario replied.

"Just as I expected. You'll have to take the elevator to the surface," the Colonel said. "But make sure nobody sees you."

"Is anyone going to be me up?" asked Mario

"No Mario," the Colonel answered. "This is a one man infiltration mission."

"Ok," Mario replies.

"When you hear the codec, answer it," the Colonel replied. "It will be something very important. The codec directly stimulates the small bones of your ear, no one but you will be able to hear it."

"Got it," Mario says. "Okay, I'm ready to go."

Mario leaps to his feet and looks around the area. Two goomba guards are patrolling and the elevator is still at the surface.

"Fuck. What am I supposed to do until the elevator comes down," Mario says to himself.

Mario goes over to the elevator and notices something on the ground. He picks it up, noticing it's a gun.

"Hey, Time to kick ass with this thing," Mario chuckles.

Mario goes over to a guard and points the gun at him. The guard pisses his pants and starts shaking. Mario pulls the trigger and the guard falls down.

"What the fuck?" asks Mario. "This fucking gun has tranquilizer rounds. Oh well, there might be a use for them sometime."

The elevator comes back down and another guard comes out. Mario holsters the gun and sneaks up behind the guard. He grabs the guard and breaks his neck, blood spilling everywhere.

"Whoa, cool," Mario mutters, admiring his work.

Mario goes into the elevator as it goes up. He removes his snorkel and stands there, awaiting the elevator to make its slow climb to the surface. He starts to twiddle his thumbs. It arrives to the surface. He dives out of the elevator and goes behind a few boxes. He takes a knee to codec the Colonel.


Chapter 2

Mario calls the colonel over the codec. He looks around to see if there are any guards before the colonel picks up.

“It’s Mario. I’m in front of the disposal facility,” Mario says.

“Excellent, Mario. Age hasn’t slowed you down one bit,” Campbell replies.

“How’s that sneaking suit working out Mario?” Naomi asks.

“I’m nice and dry, but it’s a little hard to move,” Mario says.

“Bear with it. It’s designed to prevent hypothermia. This is Alaska you know,” Naomi replies.

“Take it easy, I’m grateful. If it wasn’t for your suit and your shot I would have turned into a popsicle out there,” Mario says.

“An anti-freezing peptide Mario. All of the goomba soldiers in this exercise are using it,” Naomi replies.

“I’m relived to hear that. Already tested, huh? By the way, how’s the diversionary operation going?” Mario asks.

“Two F-16s just took off from Galena and are headed your way. The terrorists’ radar should have picked them up by now,” Campbell replies.

Mario takes a look from behind the crates. He sees a group of terrorists crowding around a helicopter.

“A Hind-D? Colonel, what the fuck is a Russian gunship doing here?” Mario Asks.

“I have no idea...but it looks like our little diversion got their attention. Now’s your best chance to slip in unnoticed” Campbell replies.

The helicopter takes off, throwing snow in the guards’ eyes. One guard falls down from the wind. They guards follow the outline of the helicopter into the sky. Mario attempts to see the pilot, but there is too much snow to make out anything important except for he has a head.

“There are only 18 hours left until their deadline,” Campbell continues. “You’ve got to hurry.”

“ must be crazy to fly a Hind in this kind of weather.” A woman’s voice said.

“Who’s that?” Mario asked.

“Oh sorry,” The Colonel replies, “I haven’t introduced you two yet. This is Wendy Ling. She was assigned to us as our visual and data processing specialist. She designed your codec, as well as your Soliton radar system. Contact her if you have any questions about either of them.”

“Nice to meet you Mario,” Wendy says. “It’s an honor to speak to a living legend like yourself.”

Mario looks awestruck at her. He can’t find any words to say.

“What’s wrong?” Wendy questions.

“Nothing,” Mario replies. “I just didn’t expect a world-class designer of military technology to be so...cute.”

“You’re just flattering me,” She says.

“No, I’m serious,” Mario replies. “Now I know I won’t be bored for the next eighteen hours.”

“What’s this?” Wendy asks. “I’m being hit on by the legendary Mario Mario? But I’m surprised. I didn’t think you’d be so frank.”

“Looks like we both have a lot to learn about each other,” Mario replies.

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to meeting the man behind the legend,” Wendy comments. “But first, let me explain about your Soliton radar system. The bright dot in the middle is you Mario. The red dots are your enemies and the blue cone represents their field of vision.”

“Be careful Mario,” Naomi adds. “The goomba soldiers have highly developed senses of hearing and vision due to their gene therapy. Make sure you don’t let them see you.”

“First I want you to infiltrate the disposal site and look for the DARPA Chief,” Campbell says.

“The DARPA Chief was injected with the same GPS transmitting nanomachines as you,” Naomi says.

“He should appear on your radar as a green dot,” Wendy adds.

“Get whatever information you can from him about the terrorists,” the Colonel says. “If he’s alive that is.”

“Mario, your radar isn’t affected by the weather, but if you’re discovered by an enemy you won’t be able to use it.” Wendy says.

“Yes, it gets jammed easily I’m afraid,” the Colonel adds.

“Yes, it’s all made from currently existing technology,” Wendy replies. “You won’t be able to use it in an area with strong harmonic resonance. So be careful.”

“We’ll be monitoring your movements by radar,” Campbell says. “So contact us by codec anytime you want.”

“Got it,” Mario replies. “I’ll call if I’m feeling lonely.”

“Seriously Mario,” Naomi says. “We’re here to back you up, so call if you need some information or advice.”

“I’m also in charge of you mission data,” Wendy says. “Contact me if you want me to record your current status.”

“Remember, except for your binoculars you’re naked,” Campbell says. “You need to arm yourself with whatever weapons you can find.”

“I remember,” Mario replies. “First I’m strip searched by Doctor Hunter here, and then all my weapons are taken away. Imagine yourself put in that position.”

“Well, if you make it back in one piece, maybe I’ll let you do a strip search on me,” Naomi says.

“I’ll hold you to that doctor,” Mario replies. “By the way, sorry to disappoint you, but I did manage to smuggle out my smokes.”

“How did you do that?” Naomi asks.

“In my stomach,” Mario answers. “Thanks to the shot you gave me that suppressed my stomach acids.”

“Cigarettes?” Wendy asks. “How are those going to help you?”

“You never know,” Mario replies.

Mario pulls his binoculars out and looks at the building. “If you want to get in, there’s the front door,” Campbell says. “It’s the fastest way, but there’s too much risk of being spotted by the enemy.”

“I can’t just knock on the door and ask them to let me in,” Mario replies.

“What about the air duct near the door?” the Colonel asks.

Mario looks by the duct. He can see a sleeping guard and a camera. “One sentry on the left, and one on the right,” Mario tells the Colonel. “They’re armed with ‘five-five sixers’ and pineapples.”

“There should also be a duct on the second floor,” The colonel says.

Mario looks around the second floor catwalk, noticing the guard. “I can’t see it from here,” he says.

Mario lowers the binoculars and gets a better hiding spot behind the crate. “I’ll let you decide the best COA (course of action).” The Colonel says. “I’m counting on you Mario.”

Mario looks at the heliport. It’s being guarded by two searchlights. He decides to take out the guard closest to the crates. He takes the tranquilizer gun and bashes the guard over the head with it. The guard goes down.

“Oh hell yeah,” Mario says to himself. “I fucking rule.”

He climbs into the truck by the entrance and finds a gun.

“Yes, a SOCOM,” Mario exclaims. “And it’s not even my birthday.”

Mario jumps out of the truck and goes to the top of the stairs. He sees the guard and shoots him in the head. Blood and brain matter coat the wall behind him like a new coat of paint. Mario shrugs his shoulders as he goes into the air duct. In the air duct, Mario’s codec goes off. He answers it.

“Mario, it’s been a long time,” a man says.

“Master Mallow?” Mario asks. “What are you doing here?”

“I quit being a drill instructor, so I moved out here for some peace and quiet,” Master answers. “I’m in retirement just like you. Once in a while I still help train the Alaskan scouts.”

“Passing on the skills to a new generation, huh?” Mario asks. They both laugh.

“Campbell told me about the situation here,” Master says. “I thought I might be of some use.”

“There’s no one I’d rather have in a foxhole than you.” Mario replies.

“Well, I know lots about survival in a harsh environment.” Master says. “I’ve lived in Alaska longer than you, so call me if you have any questions about the flora or fauna.”

Mario then moves throughout the duct some more. He over hears a conversation between two goomba soldiers. He learns that the DARPA Chief is in B1 and there’s another intruder using steal camouflage. He climbs into the tank hanger. He notices the elevator to his right. He sees a goomba soldier by the elevator, and very close to the cat walk. Mario jumps off the cat walk and kicks the soldier in the head. The soldier is knocked out. Mario gets into the elevator and goes to floor B1.

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