MarioNav

Fan Stuff
Fan made games
FUNNY Pictures
Voting Station
Fan Art
Comics
Fiction
Mario Memories
Info, Articles & Magazines
Nintendo Adventure Books
The Year of Luigi
Character Bios
Evolution of Mario
Mario Adventure Comics
Nintendo History
Nintendo Power articles
Shigeru Miyamoto
Mario Cartoons & Movies
Living Legend movie
The Wizard
Mario Bros. Anime movie
Mario Bros. Movie
SMB Super Show
SMW TV Show
SMB3 TV Show
Mario Games
Games Never Released
Mario Bros
Game list
Game Boy
Game Boy Colour
Game Boy Advance
Gamecube
NES
Nintendo 64
Nintendo 3DS
Nintendo DS
Other Platforms
SNES
Wii
Wii U
Media & Downloads
Mario Maps
Box Art
Picture Collections
Animated GIF Collection
Commercials
Desktop wallpaper
Fonts
Rendered Artwork
Screenshots
Sound effects / music
Sprite Archive
Play Mario Games
Mario Bros Games #2
Mario Bros Games #3
Mario Bros Games #4
Mario Bros Games #1
Watch Cartoons and Anime
Mario Bros. Anime movie
Super Mario World TV Show
Super Mario Bros. 3 TV Show
Super Mario Bros. Super Show
Guides and Playthroughs
Gameboy
Super Mario Land Guide & Walkthrough
Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins
Nintendo 64
Mario Party (N64) Playthrough
Super Mario 64 Walkthrough
Nintendo NES
Super Mario Bros (NES) Playthrough
Super Mario Bros 2 (NES)
Super Mario Bros. 3
Super Nintendo (SNES)
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island (SNES) Playthrough
Mario is Missing (SNES)
Mario's Early Years: Fun with Letters (SNES)
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (SNES)
Wii U
New Super Mario Bros U (Wii U) Bonus Videos
Super Mario 3D World (Wii U) Playthrough

Follow us on...

TMB on Facebook

 

Live Twitter Feed

@ZeldaChronicles Hey ZC, you around? I'd like to talk to you if poss :-D
#Yoshi's Cookie #retro review by MathGrant. Loved this! #Yoshi https://t.co/1rzPx4ahYm https://t.co/WxPHGPyxTW
When #Mario was still Missing on the #SNES. And still no one was happy about the situation. https://t.co/SDASQ3nO3Y https://t.co/dddBqEQbF1
A retro gaming guide for #SuperMarioLand on the #Gameboy by Benni Castellanos. https://t.co/rmOztbAfC4 https://t.co/VMOiBvUncV

A Twisted Mario Story

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Rating 0.00 (0 Votes)
User Rating:  / 0
PoorBest 

Story originally submitted to Super Mario Portal on October 2nd, 2003.

 

One day in the Mushroom Kingdom, trouble was amuck (hehe, amuck), for Bowser was planning something evil.


Chapter 1

Bowser: Dammit! That was my last life!

*Bowser incinerates Gamecube*

Bowser: Magikoopa!

Magikoopa: What sir?

Bowser: Buy me another Gamecube and a copy of Tetris Worlds and rig it so I can't lose!

Magikoopa: Yes sir!

Meanwhile in Mario's Hut.

*Mario is sleeping, Luigi is getting container of cold pasta from refrigerator*

*Mario suddenly awakes*

Mario: GET THE HELL OUTTA MY PASTA!!!!!!

Luigi: I swear.I didn't.I wouldn't.

*Mario beats Luigi to a bloody pulp then shovels down container full of cold pasta*

Mario: Serves you right!

*Luigi begins to beg for death*

*Toad rushes through door*

Toad: Mario! Luigi! The Chancellor needs to talk to you immediately!!!

*Mario kicks Toad through window then leaves for Toadstool Town (Ain't I creative?)*

*Mario and Luigi stand before the Chancellor*

Chancellor: Sit down.sit down.Now; sources indicate that Bowser is going to attempt to cheat on Tetris Worlds.

*Horrified look appears on faces of Mario and Luigi*

Mario: Could it really be so?

Chancellor: I'm afraid so

Luigi: Waah! Waah!

Chancellor: That's where you come in

Mario: Oh, let me guess you want us to infiltrate Bowser's Castle, Stop him from performing this fiendish act, and save the day!

Chancellor: No.actually I was going to ask you if you wanted my leftover bacon, but, that sounds nice too

Mario: Whoopdy-friggin doo! All I need is another goddamned adventure!

Will Mario ever reach enlightenment? Will Luigi ever overcome his fear of
Mario? Find out next time on A Twisted Mario Story!

 

Chapter 2

 Chancellor: Sit down.sit down.Now; sources indicate that Bowser is going to
attempt to cheat on Tetris Worlds.

Mario: Oh, let me guess you want us to infiltrate Bowser's Castle, Stop him
from performing this fiendish act, and save the day!

Chancellor: No.actually I was going to ask you if you wanted my leftover
bacon, but, that sounds nice too

Mario: Whoopdy-friggin doo! All I need is another goddamned adventure!

Today on A Twisted Mario Story:

Luigi: Do we still get the bacon?

Chancellor: No

Luigi: Why?

Chancellor: You get adventure

Luigi: Damn!

*Meanwhile just outside of town*

Yoshi: Can't we work this out?

Koopa 1#: No

Koopa 2#: You forgot to pay us back

Koopa 3#: We just forgot to let you live

*3 Koopas begin to beat up Yoshi*

Yoshi: Don't kill me, don't kill me, I've got an idea!

*3 Koopas suddenly pay attention to Yoshi*

Yoshi: What if I killed Mario for you?

Koopa 1#: Huh?

Yoshi: I'm his friend so he wouldn't suspect it

Koopa 2#: Sounds good to me

Koopa 3#: You got yourself a deal

*In Donut Plains*

Mario: (Stupid little mushroom-headed Chancellor...)

Yoshi: Hi guys!

Mario + Luigi: Hi Yoshi!

Yoshi: Can I accompany you in your adventure?

Mario: 'kay

Will Yoshi kill Mario and Luigi? Will Bowser succeed in his fiendish plot?
Find out next time!!!
 

Chapter 3

Last time on A Twisted Mario Story:

Yoshi: What if I killed Mario for you?

Koopa 3#: You got yourself a deal

*In Donut Plains*

Yoshi: Hi guys!

Mario + Luigi: Hi Yoshi!

Yoshi: Can I accompany you in your adventure?

Mario: 'kay

Today On A Twisted Mario Story:

Yoshi: So got any bacon?

Luigi: No, due to a certain someone who couldn't keep his mouth shut...

*Luigi stares at Mario*

*Mario kicks Luigi in the nuts*

Luigi: YOWSA!!!!!

Mario: I brought some pasta but it is for me and me only

*Mario stares at Luigi*

*Luigi runs behind Yoshi's back*

Yoshi: It seems to me that you two have some issues that need worked out

Luigi: Well in fact,

*Mario runs index finger across neck*

Luigi: Nothing is wrong!

Yoshi: We're nearing KeroKero Sewers (That one wasn't too shabby, now was
it?)

Mario: Good

*KeroKero Sewers*

Luigi: Isn't this great? Just the 3 of us out on an adventure to defeat an
evil villain!

Mario: Shut the hell up

Luigi: 'kay

Yoshi: Hey! Remember the very first time you went on an adventure to defeat
Bowser and save the Princess in Super Mario Bros.?

Mario: Oh yeah! Those were good times, wait, how would you know about that?
You weren't born yet!

Yoshi: Or was I?

*Mario and Luigi stare at Yoshi with a vacant expression on their faces*

Yoshi: No, you're right, I wasn't

Mario: Geez, how long does it take that author to write one friggin'
chapter?

Me: Don't worry I'm almost finished

Mario: Thank god!

Luigi: That was weird

Yoshi: Do you ever think that maybe we're just being typed on Microsoft
Word and then showcased on the internet?

*crickets chirp*

Luigi: I like graham crackers!

Mario: Good for you!

Mario: My ass hurts, why are you spanking it Luigi?

Luigi: It pleasures me

Why is Luigi so damn crazy? Is Yoshi the only (somewhat) sane one? Will
Mario and friends ever see Toad again? Find out next time on, A Twisted
Mario Story!

 

Chapter 4

Last time on A Twisted Mario Story:

Yoshi: Do you ever think that maybe we're just being typed on Microsoft
Word and then showcased on the internet?

*crickets chirp*

Luigi: I like graham crackers!

Mario: Good for you!

Mario: My ass hurts, why are you spanking it Luigi?

Luigi: It pleasures me

Today on A Twisted Mario Story:

Yoshi: Hey I thought I just saw Toad!

*Luigi hands Yoshi pills*

Yoshi: I don't need these Luigi

Luigi: Just tryin' to help out

Toad: SURPRISE!!!!!!!!

*Mario beats the hell outta Toad for scaring him*

Toad: (moan)

Toad: Can I help you on your,

Toad: (moan)

Toad: adventure

Mario: whatever

Toad: Yay!

*Luigi hugs Toad and gives him a hard slap on the booty*

Toad: That was weird...

Mario: I've got a serious question for you Luigi, are you gay?

Luigi: Uhh, no, I like girls, girls are hot (they're onto me)

Yoshi: Hey! I think that pipe will lead us out of the sewers!

*Mario and friends jump in warp pipe*

Mario: That was just a tad too easy

Luigi: I'm tired, can we set up camp?

Mario: Okay, then it's settled, tomorrow we leave for Vanilla Dome!

Yoshi: I'm gonna go plot your demise, I mean, set up my tent

Mario: That was strange

*While Mario, Luigi, and Toad are asleep*

Yoshi: Damn! All I needed was for Toad to join! Mario's tough enough on his
own, but when his brother and Toad are with him, they're pretty much
unbeatable, and on top of that, I think they're onto me!

Yoshi: I can't kill them!

Yoshi: But perhaps these can,

*Yoshi picks up canister full of flesh-eating Koopa Larva

Yoshi: I think I'll release them onto their beds

*Yoshi does so*

Yoshi: Now, for a little sleep

*That morning*

Luigi: Yoshi! Wake up!

Yoshi: WHAT?! YOU'RE ALIVE?! I mean what a pleasant surprise

Luigi: This morning when we woke up we found a bunch of animal skeletons
outside our tent, weird, huh?

Yoshi: Uhh, yeah, weird

Luigi: I mean, if whatever killed those animals wasn't there, we could all
be dead right now!

*Yoshi gets crazed look in his eyes*

Luigi: Well, we're having breakfast outside if you want to join us

Yoshi: uhhhh, okay, I'll, uhh, be outside in a minute

Will Yoshi ever succeed in killing Mario and friends? Will Mario find out
Yoshi's ambitions? Find out next time on, A Twisted Mario Story!

 

Chapter 5

Last time on A Twisted Mario Story:

Luigi: I mean, if whatever killed those animals wasn't there, we could all
be dead right now!

*Yoshi gets crazed look in his eyes*

Luigi: Well, we're having breakfast outside if you want to join us

Yoshi: uhhhh, okay, I'll, uhh, be outside in a minute

Today on A Twisted Mario Story:

Mario: Is everybody ready to head to Vanilla Dome?

Luigi: It depends; will I get kicked in the nuts again?

Mario: Maybe

Luigi: uhhh

Toad: Mashed Potatoes make me horny

Yoshi: Dude, what you just said is even weirder than the kind of stuff
Luigi does

Luigi: Michael Jackson is hot!

Yoshi: I stand corrected

Mario: Let's get moving or else I'll slit your chests open and eat your
organs raw

*Luigi, Yoshi, and Toad run away in panic*

Mario: Just jokin'

Yoshi: What the hell was that all about?

Mario: I just like playin' with you, but seriously, we need to go

*Vanilla Dome*

Toad: Its frickin' cold in here

Luigi: Why don't we get a little closer to warm us up then?

Yoshi: Seems reasonable

*Everybody gets real close to each other*

Luigi: (Excellent, everything is going according to plan)

Yoshi: What was that?

Luigi: Oh, nothing

Mario: Hey everybody! Look a Megakoopa! Let's fight it!

*Everybody backs away from Mario*

Mario: Fine! More fun for me!

*Mario skips up to the Megakoopa and gets swallowed by it*

Toad: We should probably help him

Yoshi: I don't think we should, I mean, I was gonna kill him anyways

*Everybody stares at Yoshi*

Yoshi: I mean, toast is good!

Luigi: Yeah, toast is good

Toad: I agree

Luigi: Well, let's go save my brother

Will they save Mario? Will another member be added to the party? Will everybody finally get over their differences and be best buds til' the end
of time? Find out next time on, A Twisted Mario Story!

 

Chapter 6

Last time on A Twisted Mario Story:

*Mario skips up to the Megakoopa and gets swallowed by it*

Toad: We should probably help him

Yoshi: I don't think we should, I mean, I was gonna kill him anyways

*Everybody stares at Yoshi*

Today on A Twisted Mario Story:

Mario: Whew, it's slimy down here

Brad: 'Sup

Mario: BRAD PITT??!!!

Brad: Yeah, I've been down here for about a month constantly avoiding
digestion

Mario: Well what have you eaten?

Brad: Whatever comes down here

Mario: What have you had to drink?

*Camera zooms in on Brad*

Brad: Stomach acid

*Camera zooms out*

Mario: tight

Mario: Wanna fistfight?

Brad: Hell yeah!

*Mario and Brad begin to beat the crap out of each other*

Mario: Wow! You're a big-time asshole just like me! Wanna join my party?

Brad: sure, I could make a movie about it, it would be called, "Mario & Me"
of course, you would be played by Jim Belushi

Mario: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!!!! I wanna be played by Danny
Devito

Brad: okeydoke

*Meanwhile, on the outside*

Toad: How're we going to get Mario out?

Luigi: I don't know, but you look awfully scrumdiddlyumptious today Toad

Toad: uhhhhh, thanks

Yoshi: It's simple; all we have to do is kill the Megakoopa

Toad: I think Mario's already proven that that doesn't work

Yoshi: It will if you and Luigi do it

Luigi: Oh, I would love to do it with Toad!

Yoshi: ewwww

Toad: Why not you?

Yoshi: Because I'm trying to kill you, I mean I'm trying to, nill, you?

Toad: What does nill mean?

Luigi: Ooh! Isn't that when a man licks another man's nipples?

*Toad steps away from Luigi*

Yoshi: Okay! Just kill the Megakoopa because I told you to!

Toad & Luigi: Aye aye sir!

*Toad and Luigi run up to the Megakoopa and kill it miraculously*

Yoshi: How'd they do that?

Mario: Thank god we're out

Brad: Yeah

Luigi: OH MY GOSH! IT'S BRAD PITT! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!

Mario: Weird

Toad: But expected

Yoshi: Yeah

Have our heroes escaped from danger? Will Luigi go out with Brad Pitt! Will
Yoshi be driven insane? Find out next time on A Twisted Mario Story!!!